Whimsical Thoughts to the Tune of a Sweeter Song

Smiling..............and Nerds

I was thinking about a couple kind of weird things recently. Welcome along for the trip, even if it is only a mind trip.

Nerds: I was sitting in the computer lab the other day, and there were a couple guys at the same table talking. Naturally, I couldn't help hearing. One guy would be like "You'll never guess what So-and-so was trying to do! He was trying to put the dohickmajig where the thingamabob was supposed to go! And he didn't even know that a megabiticular driver javafibulator could take care of those annoying gigatixils*. Can you believe it?" Then they would both laugh hysterically. Then the other one (between fits of laughter) would be like, "Yesterday, I was just messing around on the Megabiticular Driver Tech Page, and I realized that I could hack in and change all of their gigatixels into megatrons." I LOVE NERDS!!!!! THEY'RE AWESOME!

*The technical language in this section is not as real as it appears.

Smiles: I was walking to class yesterday, and I had the uncomfortable misfortune of meeting someone at the door who was going the opposite direction. Eye contact is inevitable. So what do you do? You can't just look away, people are too antisocial to warrant giving a loud 'hello,' so we both employed what I now call the "compressed lips smile." And I started to think about smiles as I walked the rest of the way to class. There are so many types of smiles, and they all mean something so different from the others...so I decided to put together a list of "smiles everyone should know how to perform."

Compressed Lip Smile-This is a rather wry smile. It basically says, "I'm here, and you're here, and I just happened to be looking at you and now feel obligated to acknowledge your presence." It can also be used as the "We're both in the same boat, dude." smile.

The 28 Dentis Smile-This one shows all of the teeth you do and don't have. Best used on Julia Roberts, but other people can use it too. This smile either says, "I'm reallyreallyreally excited about something!" or it says "This is a very sarcastic pretense of being reallyreallyreally excited about something!"

Contemplative Monk-Style Smile-To do this one, you will need to gaze thoughtfully at anything other than person you are talking to. Then turn up the corners of your mouth ever so slightly. This smile is very similar to the "Bittersweet Smile."

Bittersweet Smile-Basically involves thinking about something that both makes you happy and sad at the same time (especially effective when staring off into space-see above)

Adoring Smile-This smile is normally directed at a person and is best used when used in this manner. This smile says, "I think you are the most interesting, wonderful, amazing, beautiful, caring, sweet, (ad infinitum) person in the whole world! I can't believe you're standing here by me!" (used very frequently by dating and married couples)

Teasing Smile-one eyebrow is often slightly raised, this smile says "There is a double meaning in every word I say." Interchangeable and nearly indistinguishable from the "Flirting smile."

Flirting Smile-see above (only variation is that it is often accompanied by a suspicious lowering of the eyelid)

Fake Smile-eyes look bored, sad, or unimpressed, but lips are painfully stretched to form the outward semblitude of a smile (often will be much more extravagant than is necessary for the occassion)

There are many, many more, but this is enough for now. Perhaps I'll do a second installment later.

posted by whimsicalfaery @ 2:37 PM